Let’s face it, we could spend a lifetime identifying and discussing unhealthy and healthy relationships. But, with the onset of Valentine’s Day, we thought it best to provide tools that are available for you to use to grow a healthier relationship.
Some couples are blessed with balance, strong connection, and an organic ebb and flow of love. The rest of us have to work HARD to make our relationship strong and healthy. It is not easy at times, and truthfully, there are many times where it is best to end the partnership. But, when it matters, relationship tools can be just the thing to make your relationship stronger, happier, and healthier.
Should you use tools to build a healthier relationship?
So, when is it worth it to use relationship tools? Some examples where tools can be helpful are when you or your partner:
But, there are times when a relationship tool is not going to solve the problem, and either you or your partner need professional therapy, law enforcement intervention, and/or just to call it quits. When there is adultery, abuse, violence, and fear, it is imperative to seek professional help immediately.
That being said, relationship tools can really help you grow a healthier relationship and become closer to each other. Here are a few of our favorites:
5 Love Languages – The Essential, Must-Do Quiz
If you do just ONE of these, make it this; learn your love language. This is an essential tool for all couples. The brainchild of Dr. Gary Chapman, the quiz helps couples (and yes, there is even a quiz for children) understand two critical elements: how they show their love and how they want to receive their love. Are you a gift-giver? Do you feel loved when someone holds you? Do you find yourself doing things for others with a sense of fulfillment and purpose? What makes you the happiest? When you understand your love language – and your partner’s love language – something “clicks” and you truly start to understand what love is. And when that happens, it is truly magical.
Don’t put this one off another day. To take this essential (and FREE) quiz, go to Dr. Chapman’s website. He also offers several other helpful quizzes that will help you with honest self-assessments and connect with others in a healthy way.
Gratitude and Relationship Journals
When couples journal together, it gives them a purpose to spend time together where they get to explore and strengthen their relationship. Too many times, couples talk (almost exclusively) about their children, bills, career status and issues, home tasks, and chores – but just don’t spend enough time together talking about their bond, their connection, and their future. “What do you want to do for dinner?” is parroted weekly, but rarely do couples talk about what they want in life or what they want to do with their lives together when they retire. Relationship journaling allows for deeper discovery of your partner and exploration of common goals.
Not sure where to start? Go to Amazon or click here for a review of books and websites out there to help you and your partner get started.
Grow a Healthier Relationship with Self-Made Questionnaires
So, you spend every day with your partner … and with quarantine time, it felt like there were even more than 24 hours in one day! But, knowing your partner’s daily habits and movements may not really tell you who they are. Surely, even some of the longest-lasting couples have discoveries to be made and thoughts to share. Creating your own self-made questionnaires can be a fun and intimate tool to use to give yourselves reasons to ask questions you always wanted to know, and new ways to learn about each other.
There are some wonderful resources out there to help you get started with your couples quiz – including free and paid resources. Just remember, this is supposed to give you the tools you need to expand upon your knowledge of each other, not to violate privacy. So, be respectful during the discovery process and above all, let this experience help you both become closer, happier, and healthier.
Relationship Tools Do Work
We really only scratched the surface of relationship tools that are available for you and your partner. Hopefully, these tools will provide much-needed rekindling, stronger connections, increased happiness, and produce a healthier relationship. Relationships cannot solely provide us with a lifetime of happiness (and no one should look to their partner to provide the happiness they seek), but being in a happy and healthy relationship sure makes living a whole lot happier!
A Word About Domestic Violence and Abuse
If you or someone you know is feeling abused, scared, or victimized, seek help immediately. Domestic violence is a crime that can result in serious injury and even death. If you know or have reasonable suspicion that a battering incident is occurring, call the police immediately.
If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.